I love reading all these posts about people cheering about the election victory by Labour. I hope your not one of the 30,000 public servants about to get sacked. I'm sure the cheering may stop when that happens.

Still hate Australia. I hate listening to people defend the country. Seriously go live somewhere else before you believe this place is so wonderful!!! *grumble whine bitch*

Job front Amy lined up a simple job for me at Customs. Gets me out of the house and is easy to do. Plus it stops my bank account from being drained.

Not much else really. It is amazing. In the UK I was never bored. In Australia I go insane each and every day. Canberra is dull. The people are annoying. Magner's (apple cider) costs a fortune and it is impossible to find a good job. People keep on telling me that there are plenty of jobs around ... well I can't find one!!!!

It's raining and lots of thunder outside ... kinda nice actually.

Australia ... what can I say but what a shithole of a country this place really is. No wonder the English sent convicts here.

Lessons learnt so far after being back

1) People are employed on the basis of not being a threat to the people doing the hiring. I in my stupidity believed that the system would be fairer and you would hire people based on the skills much like what happened in Scotland. However remembering back that was never the case in Australia. The more incomptent you were the higher you chance of success.

2) DB2 skills in Australia although listed in demand aren't. My last interview for a position went the way of the dinosaurs after I kindly pointed out a potentially fatal flaw in the way utilities were being handled (i.e automatic termination in all phases). Not a good idea in one particular phase and should always be checked first to make sure data loss doesn't occur. For some reason although saying oh oh oh many times the interviewer and the interview went south from that point onwards. I was extreme polite and tactful in pointing out the flaw but that doesn't matter. In the UK that would get you hired. Here that would mean that the other people don't know the job and so you instantly get excluded.

3) Morons rise to the level of their incompetence. One particular fellow who was hired because he was mates with the boss and had no skills less than three years ago is now the complete and utter guru appareently. This fellow had no idea then and even now from my conversations has even less understanding of delivering a quality service and what the product is capable of. Instead it is a god complex. You do because I say and that is all you need to know. Depressing once again.

So I really really really need to get out of this country. I have numerous requests from overseas asking me do I have a visa yet and can I start work but unfortunately I don't qualify for a visa since I don't have a degree. Great so I'm back to Uni this year to try and fasttrack a degree so I can leave this god forsaken country forever.

Even food in Australia is overpriced. I used to eat fruit and vegatables quite often in the UK. I went shopping here and almost died at the prices. $5.99 for tomoatos, $6.99 for apples. WTF is going with that .. we aren't importing the fruit from China are we????

Bitch over for the moment.

In other news.

- I hate Australia
- Amy is sick with the flu. Poor thing. I just covered her in vapor rub and she appears to be sleeping which is good. Last night she couldn't breath through her nose and hence didn't sleep so fingers crossed.
- I'm thinking of just taking any old job just to get some money coming in. I've got plenty of savings but I don't want to waste that when I can use it hopefully in the future for a better purpose (i.e leaving Australia)
- I really miss my friends in Scotland :(((

And that is about all.

So I leave the UK in less than 12 hours!!!!!! OMG I can't believe this current stint is over :(

Talk about majorily depressed right now!!!!!

Fuck me is about all I can say .. it is strange walking down the same street I have walked down for the last 15 months realising that today is the last today (possibly forever) that I might walk down that street .... sigh

I don't want it to end :(( I felt happy and content here.

Well I'm sitting on my couch watching Poker on TV since there isn't anything else on at 1:30am and it is really strange.

Finished my job on Friday and Amy flies in on Friday morning so it's just 5 days and I get to see her after around 7 months. Man I can't believe 7 months have just gone past so fast. It just seemed a few weeks ago I was coming back from Europe.

And this means it is almost time for me to move back to Australia. Just as I was feeling really comfortable I have to pack up my possessions and start over again. Bloody hell I must be getting old because I really don't feel like moving again. Going through the hassle of the rental markets and all the associated crap just to find somewhere to live. Plus I have to find a job. I've realised I'm going to be so bored no matter where I work in Australia. After spending the last year working on massive banking systems going back to the piddly little systems in Australia is really going to be ... well shit. For amusements sakes we have had single transactions that consume more CPU that the biggest mainframe in Australia... hahahahaha .. fuck that is depressing to be honest.

I have so much to do as well .... I need to head to bed soon so I can do the following tomorrow

Buy new socks and stuff for my trip (it's been awhile and some good summer socks are required)
Book my flight down to London for Thursday and the return trip on Sunday
Find somewhere that will send my stuff back to Australia so I only have to take my laptop and some clothes on my trip
Go to the pub and drink and eat with my ex-workmates
Then maybe go to the movies and watch something

And that is just Monday!!!!! OMG freaking out.

I get back to Australia on the 26th September.

My time in the UK is fast coming to a close. Just 3 more weeks of work left than a couple more weeks of fun and then I'm done.

It amazes me 17 months have passed. It just seems like yesterday I was still in the old apartment back in Canberrra.

I'm really going to miss Edinburgh. I have made some really good friends up here and I'm espeically going to miss Paul. He is just the type of person who I really like. Happy to go out and get drunk and then not chat for a couple of days. Just fun blokey stuff. In many ways I think I'm in denial right now. Sure I want to go back to Australia to see people, have fun and just enjoy the things we have in Australia that they don't have here (i.e twisties :P) but most of me doesn't want to leave at all. It may sound selfish but I'm happy where I am right now. I can come and go as I please. I answer to no-one and I really do enjoy my job. When I was back in Australia getting up to go to work was hard, and once I got there staying was even harder. Over here as soon I shake the sleepiness off I'm fine for going to work. There is job choice over here, people who are actually happy for you to make change, support and reward you ... i.e just make work enjoyable. That doesn't happen back in Australia. Plus of course a pay cut is not going to be fun!!!!

I'm heading to the USA for 5-6 weeks as well. Even have a cruise booked *yay me* so that should be exciting.

But but but I just don't know. I don't want to leave :((( What do I have back for me in Australia. My parents who I love deeply but we haven't been close since I first met Amy. So although I will love to see them it won't be the same if that makes sense.

Friends ... I have some good friends back in Australia (especially Melbourne) but as I said my friends in Edinburgh are great too and losing them will be hard. I've built my own life from scratch here .. I started in a backpackers and knew no-one and now I have a great place to live, great friends and things to day 7 days a week if I so please. Starting again back somewhere in Australia just doesn't appeal to me right now.

Amy .... what can I say about that .... not much really. Things that happened that I have tried so hard to let go of haven't gone yet .. maybe they never will, maybe I'm just hanging onto the past or onto the ideal of the person instead of looking at the facts. I have no idea why but I kind of picture the Futurama episode where Fry gets frozen and his dog waits for him year after year until he eventually died. Maybe I'm just hanging onto hope instead of finding something else. Don't get me wrong I still adore her but I don't know if I can let go of the things that plague my dreams and enter my thoughts when I'm not watching. Only time will tell I guess.

Haha ... it will good to see puppies again though!!!!

And that is about all I guess ... yeah deep huh!!! ROFL

Still can't believe just 3 weeks of work left ...................................

Mental note .. why am I addicted to Hilary Duff - Stranger .... check back later to see if I still like it.

I can't believe it is already April!!!

I've been back at work for over 2 months now and OMG has it been busy. Good because time flies but man there has been some big problems to deal with and it is amazing you say things like 300 million rows it doesn't sound big but when that equates to a couple of hundred gigabytes and you have six secondary indexes it adds up fast. Also amazing how little things you don't think about come back to bite you in the butt :P All good though because it has been fun.

What else is new. The weather over here is finally starting to warm up. Amusingly warm is defined as 21 degrees :P I felt really sad the other day when I was actually really excited about it getting that warm. So so sad but it is true. Soon it will be good drinking weather.

Going to the pub on Sunday to watch Australia vs England in the cricket with Tim and Paul. Should be a great day even though the later two are on call but we are taking a couple of laptops and we can connect to work from the pub (have to love satellite network cards in the laptops so you can connect from anywhere).

What else. The girl I mentioned ages ago I was being setup with was attempting to seduce me. Sadly for me even though she was pretty, intelligent and most guys would go for it she just didn't do anything for me. I think that is just one of those things about me. Only a couple of girls in my life have actually perked my interest. I must admit the girl at work is still one "hot piece of ass" and there is another girl who is called Sally who although not the classic pretty definately has something that perks my interest. Amusingly the canteen has two young kiwi sisters working there. Paul and I have fun doing the whole flirty thing with them. It's harmless fun although a threesome with the sisters would be kind of awesome just to say I had sex with sisters. HAHAHAHAHHA

Easter this weekend. First time in eight years I didn't get to buy Amy a crunchie egg for Christmas. Even though I was hurt last year before I left I made sure I bought her a whole heap of Easter eggs and gave them to her on my last day in Australia. It wasn't that I had any hope it was just the fact I knew she liked those eggs alot and it just didn't seem like Easter if she didn't get them. Silly I know considering the whole situation but well I never said I was smart.

And that is about that. I'll be spending most of my last four months over here doing the following

a) working lots. I really do enjoy work and I'll actually be sad to go. Even worse is I know they would renew me if I had another visa so that must be a good sign.
b) drinking lots. As summer rolls in I'll be spending most nights at the pub :) A good way to spend a summers evening although my belly may regret it.

Finally man I hate how much I miss Amy. She calls me all the time and we talk lots and that but after spending those 3 weeks over Christmas and New Years with her it is .. well I don't know how to say it. It just seems so pointless to do things unless she is here to share things with. Like travel ... sure I've seen lots of things and done lots of things but I'd rather spend 1 week travelling with Amy and sharing that with her than 20 weeks doing stuff by myself. Man I must be crazy!!!!!

Back to watching Family Guy :)

It's my birthday on Sunday and I have been set up with a friend of a friend and am meeting her for her birthday party on Saturday. To me it is just a bit of fun since I've never been setup but I find out today she and the other half of the guy who is setting me up have been out choosing a new outfit for her to wear to impress me. Of course various other things have been talked about but now I feel bad. I'm just going because it should be fun and well I have been set up and I always wondered what that would be like ... but I'm not a prick either so now I feel kind of mean ... unless of course I like her ... sigh

So I'm still up and it is 3:25am. My new flatmate arrives tomorrow. Apparently she is a part time lap dancer so this could be interesting. Not in that way you dodgy beggars!!!! I mean she could help change my perspective on some things so I anticipate some interesting conversations ... hopefully anyway.

What else. I start work at RBS for another 6 month contract on Monday. That means come 29th July I've worked my twelve months in the UK and will then be looking for new challenges. I'm thinking I'll spend a couple of weeks doing the Edinburgh comedy fesitival once my contract is up and then maybe 3-4 weeks in the USA. Do Disneyland, Grand Canyon and some other stuff. Not sure yet. Need to price and plan etc.

Got internet today as well. No more stealing dodgy wireless that only works in one place in the house. Now I can use the internet anywhere :) *YAY* Not that I do much on the internet but hopefully if Amy gets the net again soon we can talk using Skype instead of via phone. Should work out cheaper.

Get paid again in 2 weeks 3 days. That is good since I only have 200 pounds left to my name. This time however I'm paying of all my debts which will be nice *claps hands*

Cleaned the shower today .. it was quite amusing the flatmate came home and was so excited. He thinks I'm a god. I only cleaned it because the drain was blocked and it gave me something to do. I'm not that anal about cleaning anymore.

Really miss Amy :((( We talk or mail most days but after spending five out the last ten weeks with her I remembered why I love her so much ... but the money is good and it will allow for travel which is nice in just six months. Hopefully I'll come back with 50k as well after the trip to the USA and no debts. *fingers crossed* God know though .. I'm a spendthrift.

Lots more to write but honestly just no motivation. *grumbles*

Oh well.

Well my three week trip to Egypt, Greece and Italy is over and I am back in Scotland.

It went so fast and boy do I miss Amy already :(

You would think I would be happy after such an adventure but right now I wish she was close so I could just touch her, feel her hair, smell her, just be near her but she isn't close. She is a day away now :(((( So far yet I should be happy that I've spent five of the last eight weeks with her but it doesn't feel happy.

I can live without her and when I'm with her she can drive me insane but at the same time it isn't bad ... it is good :((((

Why can't I be happy with what I have? Sadly it isn't enough right now ... it really isn't.

Expect around 300 new pictures once I resize and upload them :)